How to Handle Money in Marriage

The Two Major Causes of unhappiness in marriage are sex and money.

Sex will no longer be a problem to those who have carefully followed the rules in previous installments. And luckily, money problems can be solved just as easily. Learn these simple directions and you will laugh at money worries.

"Who Should Handle The Money in Our Home?"

Many men ask: "Should I handle the money in our home?" It is not a question that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

First let us establish some principles:

1. Women have no interest in money itself. Matters of finance confuse and bore them. They are interested only in the things money can buy.

2. Women are penny wise and pound foolish. They do not think it extravagant, for example, to keep a baby sitter two extra hours at seventy-five cents an hour while they shop around to save fifty cents.

3. Women will accept responsibility only if it is thrust upon them. Thrust (concluded on page 60)Money in Marriage(continued from page 29) it properly, however, and they may surprise you.

Returning to our question, then, it is safe to state this primary rule:

The wife should be allowed to handle the money as long as there isn't quite enough to go around.

This means that your marriage will probably fall into two sharply defined financial periods.

The Early or Low-Money Period

During this stage it is best to be as open-handed as possible. Give her your pay check.

"It's all yours, pet, every cent! Just holding out enough for carfare and cigarettes."

"But Davie, we're going into the hole five dollars a week as it is!"

"I'll leave it all up to you, Phoeb! You're the treasurer!"

If at first she shies away from this responsibility, you must thrust it upon her. In every marriage one partner must worry about money. During this period make sure she is the one.

Instill this early. Establish yourself as an open-hearted boy, lovable but slightly irresponsible.

"Let me go to the grocery store, Phoeb!"

"Are you feeling all right, David?''

"Just give me the shopping list--and the money, of course."

"Be careful, dear, it's our last seven dollars."

"You know me, pet, I'll squeeze every nickel!"

Come back half an hour later with a huge box of long-stemmed roses and a jar of peanut butter.

"For you, princess! Couldn't resist them! They reached out and grabbed me with their thorny little hands!"

"Oh, Davie, how sweet!"

(Let her have her moment of ecstasy.)

"And I brought you this, too!"

(Give her the peanut butter.)

"David, how much were the roses?"

"Too much! Six fifty, to be exact! But they were worth it!"

Four or five days of peanut butter sandwiches will do her no harm, and they will teach her a valuable lesson. She will be learning about money.

If you need to keep up your strength during this period, eat hearty lunches on the expense account.

Soon she will become a good manager.

The Later, More Lavish, Years

Later on, when money is more plentiful, it should always be handled by the husband. At this stage be careful to establish the difference between petty cash, which will still be her province, and money, which is yours.

There are many ways to bring this off.

Be an Investor.

You must either be an investor, or seem to be one.

Make it clear that money works for you, and makes more money. This in itself is a concept that baffles most women, and will surely baffle your wife. Keep her baffled. If you are totally ignorant of finance, spend five minutes with a broker. He will give you enough terms to last you a lifetime.

"But Davie, what about the food money?"

"You'll get it, Phoeb. Temporarily strapped by these long-term debentures."

"The what?"

"Debentures, pet. I could sell them, but it would put us in a short term category."

"I don't mind, David. Let's be in a short term category for awhile, whatever it is."

(The girl with spirit will struggle a bit.)

"You're sweet." (Pat her on the head.) "It'd put us in an impossible tax situation. Might wipe us out."

She will be happy, secure in the knowledge that your affairs are in good hands. And, of course, you will have control of all the real money. Give her enough to set a good table, though. A well-nourished wife is a healthy, hardworking wife.

Remember Your Taxes.

The married man, like all men, must pay taxes. Unpleasant though this may be, you will find that taxes give you another clear mandate to handle the big money.

The amount you actually pay is of small importance, compared with what you seem to pay. and with your skill in painting vivid word pictures.

"Now about money, David. Don't tell me you bought some new debentures, or something. We've got plenty of debentures. What we need is-- --"

"Phoeb, I wish I could invest some more, but I can't. Just this morning I sent off a tax check. Cleaned us out. utterly!"

"You did that last week."

"That was the third installment on the State Income Tax. This is the amended declaration on the Estimated Federal, and-- --"

"That was the week before."

"No, pet, that was City -- the sewer rental and water tax and the compensating use tax."

It is safe to assume that no woman can ever understand your entire tax situation. You will be good if you understand it yourself.

Inject an element of danger from time to time, too.

"Let me look at you, Phoeb. I want to remember you. just the way you are."

"David, what's the matter?"

"Serious talk with my tax man today, pet. Looks black, very black. There'll be a penalty, of course -- but he's not sure he can avoid-- --"

(Turn your head aside and try to whistle a brave little song.)

"David . . . not prison!"

"Let's go somewhere gay, shall we? Snatch some pleasure while we can."

What About Change Accounts?

Many ask, "How can I avoid letting my wife have charge accounts?" This is a selfish point of view. The answer of course is -- let her have them!

A charge account at the hardware store, the meat market and the grocery can do little harm, will reduce unnecessary handling of cash, and will make it easier to return unwanted merchandise. It is only accounts at clothing and gift shops that are really dangerous.

The best way to attack the clothing situation is at the source, or impulse to buy. To this we will devote an entire article next month. Once a woman really wants something, the method of payment is purely technical. Cut her off too drastically from funds and you may be faced with tactics like this:

"Oh, just send it C.O.D., and be sure it comes on Saturday when my husband is home."

Few husbands can face a powerful delivery man and refuse him a handful of change.

Avoid the Joint Checking Account.

Try to build character in your wife. Make her self-reliant. One way is to let her have her own checking account, with a small controllable balance. Do not let her participate jointly in the big account or things will soon get out of hand.

If she insists, there is an easy method to set her right. Let her use the big account for a trial period. During this time conduct a few simple financial manipulations.

"David, the Parisian Boutique said my check wasn't any good!"

"Oh?"

(Pretend innocence and shocked surprise.)

"And so did the Bettie Jane Shoppe."

"Thought I left a few dollars in the account. Did withdraw a thousand to cover the Continental Common."

"But there was only a thousand and three dollars in it!"

"Really? Must have slipped my mind. I'll fix it up after the first of the month."

A few lessons like this and she'll be a new woman, happy to have a small account of her own.

Money Isn't Everything

Though it is important, as we have seen, to maintain a certain vigilance in matters of finance, the wise husband realizes that money isn't everything.

How often do we see couples who have little in the bank, but who have a far, far richer Account in happy days and happy nights?

Pin these words in your wallet: If you have money, get the most out of it. If you do not, let your wife gel the most out of it.

The two of you, striding together, will march ahead -- free of money worries -- to a fuller, more joyful life.

Next Month: "Saving Money on Your Wife's Clothing"