The Cuckold's Stratagem

Two friends more fast could never be found than Arthilao and Liberale of Genoa. Indeed, it was whispered that they often enjoyed each other's wives, so true and steadfast was their friendship.

The whispers were not in error. The manner in which this happy understanding was reached, however, was not so generally known:

There was a time when Arthilao slept with his own wife and Liberale with his, and never a thought of exchange entered their minds. This in spite of the fact that each found the other's spouse exceedingly attractive. Daria, the wife of Arthilao, was slender as a willow, with breasts like apples, creamy limbs, and the small white feet of an elf; Liberale's wife, the lusty Propertia, was shaped as if by a master sculptor, with a generous bold bosom and voluptuously curved hips. Each was lovely in her own way, and both became tigresses the moment the bedchamber light was extinguished.

Once, Arthilao found it necessary to leave the city on business. To his friend, he said, "Liberale, I will be gone for many days, and I am worried that my wife will not be able to manage our affairs in my absence. Will you watch over her while I am gone? You know what women are when there is no man in the house to counsel them and curb their foolish ways. Besides, the good woman is now three months gone with child and may be feeling a trifle ill now and then. Will you keep an eye on her and advise her?"

Liberale said, "Of course, old friend. It will be my pleasure to do so."

"Good. I know I can trust you." And so Arthilao left Genoa. The day of his departure, Liberale presented himself at the home of his absent friend and addressed his wife, the slim and lovely Daria. "Lady," he said, "please look upon me as a trusted friend, counsellor and guide in all things; regard me as a staff -- to lean upon in moments of duress and need."

"Indeed I will, neighbor Liberale," replied Daria, "for I know full well the confidence my husband has in you."

Bowing, Liberale left the house of Arthilao, and on the way home was smitten by a conflict in his soul. "Bless me, but Daria is a pretty creature!" he observed to himself. "Arthilao is a lucky dog, for certain. Of course, my good Propertia is a lusty girl, with a generous bold bosom and voluptuously curved hips. But on the other hand, Daria is slender as a willow, with breasts like apples, creamy limbs, and the small white feet of an elf. How much simpler life would be if all women looked alike! This great variety constantly before our eyes would tempt a saint ..."

That night, sleep came hard to Liberale. His rest was sore disturbed by dreams of creamy limbs and elfin feet and breasts like little apples. At his side, the statuesque Propertia slept unmolested.

Daylight brought Liberale no relief. His desire still raged, and it raged even more when he looked in upon Daria to bid her good morning. Her pregnancy had not as yet affected her figure and he found her more beautiful than ever. "How is it with you this morning, lady?" he asked.

"All goes well," Daria answered, "but a dizziness comes upon me now and again."

Liberale well knew the cause of the dizziness, but he feigned ignorance of her condition, for a crafty plan had entered his head. "Are you then ill?" he asked.

"Good neighbor," she said, "since you are my trusted counsellor, you should know that I have been with child these past three months."

"With child!" exclaimed Liberale. "Alas, and your husband away? What misfortune!"

"Why, Messer Liberale? He will surely return in time for the birth."

"I am certain of that," said Liberale, "but think, lady: Arthilao has left his function here untended. He has left you unhusbanded in the third month of your pregnancy, when he should have stayed here and by his nightly duties completed the work he had begun. Have you not heard of infants coming into this harsh world deprived of parts or faculties; born, as it were, incomplete? This sort of negligence is said to be the cause."

"O sorry day!" moaned Daria. "Do you truly believe my child will be ill-made because my husband neglected to finish him?"

"I," said Liberale, "am your trusted counsellor. Would I alarm you without cause?"

"I do not think so," she answered, weeping. "What do you advise?"

Liberale sighed. "There is only one remedy," he said. And he took Daria in his arms.

"Messer Liberale!" she cried. "You forget yourself!"

"How so?" he asked, unfastening her bodice.

"Is not my husband--" (here she was interrupted by a long and ardent kiss) "--is not my husband your closest friend?"

"That he is, truly," Liberale assured her as he admired the symmetry of her small but perfect bosom.

"Has he not placed his trust in you?"

"Indeed he has," said Liberale, carrying her to the bedchamber.

"And do you violate that trust with evil deeds?"

"Consider, fair Daria," said Liberale as he placed her gently on the bed. "Which is the greater evil -- to allow my best friend's child to be born in an unfinished state, or to do what I can to bring about a normal birth?" Her reply was delayed by an expert kiss.

When her lips were free, she said, in a husky tone, "You may be right, good neighbor."

Thus it was that Liberale performed Arthilao's duties every day until his return. And when the child was born -- a healthy, squalling boy -- there was rejoicing in both households.

One evening, when Arthilao was admiring the beauty of his new son, he remarked to his wife, "Is not our boy well-made? Is he not a young Apollo in face and form?"

"He is," agreed Daria, "but no thanks to you."

"What do you mean?" he asked, offended.

And Daria told him.

It must be said of Arthilao that he controlled his anger well. Outwardly he gave no sign, but within his thoughts ran thus: "So Liberale has made a cuckold of me. And by the most transparent of tricks. So be it. I have of late been troubled by the itching of desire, for although my wife is slender as a willow, with breasts like apples, creamy limbs, and the small white feet of an elf, yet I am forbidden by the physicians to lie with her because of the birth she has so recently undergone. Often at night I have found my thoughts wandering to Liberale's wife, Propertia, for she is indeed shaped as if by a master sculptor, with a generous bosom and voluptuously curved hips. Heretofore, I have dismissed such thoughts from my mind, for Liberale is my dearest friend. But now that he has tricked me, I may, with the clearest conscience, return the trick. And it shall be even more transparent than his."

The next day, Arthilao did two things: he invited Liberale and Propertia to dinner, and hired a thief to steal Propertia's jewels and deliver them to him.

At dinner, the buxom Propertia was in tears, wailing over the loss of her jewels. Arthilao commiserated with her. "Dear neighbor," he said, "pray go into the bedchamber and lie down for a while. Your husband and I will go to the magistrate and demand the thief be found, while my own sweet Daria will (with your permission) search your house to make sure the jewels have not been misplaced there. What say you, Liberale?"

"An excellent suggestion," Liberale replied.

When dinner was over, Propertia went to the bedchamber, Daria was given the key to Liberale's house, and Arthilao and Liberale left for the magistrate's office. They had taken only a few steps, however, when Arthilao said, "My friend, it is foolish for both of us to talk to the magistrate. I would be of much more service to you by helping my wife search your house."

"Of course," said Liberale. "I will see the magistrate alone." Thus Arthilao parted from his friend -- but returned to his own home and the bedchamber where Propertia was resting.

"Have you already seen the magistrate?" she asked.

"Your husband is lodging the complaint," replied Arthilao. "I have returned to see what may be accomplished by means of magic."

"Magic!" echoed Propertia. "Are you versed in that art, Messer Arthilao?"

"Somewhat. Years ago, in my travels, I was taught that lost things might be recovered by means of an incantation and the use of a certain variety of fishing rod."

"You are truly learned," said Propertia, and, starting to rise, she added, "Shall I help you?"

"You will help me best," said Arthilao, "by remaining on the bed." And, in a sepulchral voice, he solemnly intoned:

Fishing rod, be you far or near,

Pity our plight and pray appear!

When the fishing rod appeared, Propertia said it was a well-fashioned implement and that her husband possessed one similar in design though slightly smaller.

Arthilao cast the rod, and Propertia helped him to the best of her ability. While her eyes were closed in concentration, he pulled the stolen jewels from his pocket and cried, "Behold!"

Propertia opened her eyes and exclaimed in delight, "Oh, Arthilao! How resourceful you are! Can you not also recover the little kettle I lost last April?"

"It would please me," he said, short of breath. "It would please me greatly, I assure you, good Propertia, but such strong magic leaves a man fatigued. However, your husband may be able to help you."

"No," said Propertia, "he does not know that lost things may be recovered in this manner."

"Then," said Arthilao with a fleeting smile, "I suggest you tell him all about the bit of magic we performed this evening."

Propertia did so, and Liberale realized, with chagrin, that Arthilao knew of the liberties he had taken with Daria.

The next morning, both men wore stern faces when they met each other. Soon, however, their frowns relaxed; they smiled; and it was not long before they were roaring with laughter over their mutual cuckoldry, the gullibility of their wives, and the sport they had both enjoyed.

It was Arthilao who voiced the notion that a continuance of the exchange would prove refreshing. And Liberale answered, in the very words Daria had previously used, "You may be right, good neighbor."

"How much simpler life would be," mused Liberale, "if all women looked alike."